occasional rantings...

dear dad...

2006-10-21T01:38:00.000-07:00

it's two days until your birthday. :) I don't know what we'll do for it, but it'll probably involve cake, knowing sandy. ;)

I can't believe you've been gone for 17 years as of the 30th. more than half my life, I've gone without my dad. every once in awhile, I still half expect to see your smile when I get home and hear your laugh or one of your terrible jokes.

I miss sailing with you, and how you ALWAYS smelled like the ocean when you hugged me at the end of the day, and your cologne that you'd leave the house smelling of in the morning. I miss what a sport you were, how no matter how STUPID our ideas for fun were, you'd always be game to drive us and usually take part as well. I have to admit, I do NOT miss the "golden sunday drives", but they make good joke fodder even today. :)

I still see your fair-skinned 20-yr old face looking back at me from the mirror but with my mom's eyes, I still like cartoons more than "real" TV like you did, and every time I see sailboats, I think of you. thanks to you, I still throw big words around with impudence (ha!), love incredibly strong coffee and pinball, and hate raspberry seeds. mom still says, quite often, that I'm "so your father's daughter that it's almost scary", and it makes me smile. :)

happy birthday, dad. I love you forever.

hahaha!

2006-08-11T11:46:00.000-07:00

this picture ABSOLUTELY KILLS ME. nothing screams class quite like Courtney Love. nothing.

Friendships and A "Fuck You" Letter

2006-07-04T02:39:00.000-07:00

Not all that long ago, I more or less fell out of touch with someone I've been friends with since grade 8. I wouldn't even call it necessarily falling OUT of touch, just kind of falling into lesser touch. Maybe it's because my siblings have lived far away since I was about 6 years old, but distance and time away don't invalidate friendships to me. In fact, one person that I consider a valued friend, I don't speak to more than once or twice per year. It doesn't make me love her any less, and that's just how I am.

A few months ago, I had arranged with her to have a chat and to play some catch up, see how things are going. I ended up being unable to make the call, and due to subsequent drama and me not wanting to burden her with it, I just didn't get in touch. She didn't try either, but I felt like it was on me to get in touch. So last week, I emailed her, expressing what a colossal jerk I felt like for not calling (as it really did weigh on me), and telling her about some of the stuff I've been up to, and WHY I hadn't called. I have NEVER gotten shitty with her whenever she's gone silent for ages at a time, which she has periodically.

Her reply? A very beautifully worded FUCK YOU.

She made some shallow valid points. She likes to stay home with a couple of friends, I like to go out and party (though hanging with friends is totally cool with me too). We don't like the same kind of music anymore. She can't figure out why I haven't yet entered into a career (like her), gotten married (like her), and bought a house (like her). She then went on to say that she has great memories of when we lived a block away from each other, and doesn't "think that can be re-created". She then went on to say that she thinks I'm a beautiful, loving person, who is fiercely protective of her friends (which I am, haha).

I haven't felt so incredibly judged in a LONG time. It was niceties, meanness, then niceties; a shit sandwich. In retrospect, she's ALWAYS been judgemental, but this was like being slapped with it, and it really hurt.

Should station in life/musical taste/marital status REALLY validate a friendship? To me, getting caught up in that is a violation of friendship. And this girl was NOT always a well-functioning member of society, and I was there for her, always. When she was suicidal, did I bail on her? No. When she went through her serious heartbreaks, did I run because I couldn't understand why she'd gotten so hung up on the person in the first place? No. When she got married, who was the first person to offer help (I ended up doing hers and her mother's makeup)? Me. When she had job stress and other things going on, I was always there, and I never, ever thought about ditching her as a friend because things were tough, or because she was obsessed with Ministry and Lord of the Rings (before it was cool, hah!). She was weird, that was that, and she was STILL my friend.

One of my good, long-term friends has, in my opinion, the worst taste in music of all time, I tease her about it constantly. But she's still my friend, and I won't just end a friendship over that. Variety is the spice of life, and if all your friends are doing the same thing as you, listening to all the same music, all at the same stage in life, how can you possibly learn anything from them, or them from you?

It's also interesting that she's reaching back to when we were neighbours. That was HIGH SCHOOL, and shortly thereafter. Of COURSE things change. But you should be able to roll with your friends' changes and learn from them instead of just getting pissy that your friend didn't turn into a carbon copy of you. I don't want a huge mortgage at this stage. I'm not ready to be married yet. And I've tried a couple of careers already that didn't fit. Not everyone is so lucky as to hit onto what they love to do right away, or learn to be happy, long-term, doing something that they do not love. That, to me, is not grounds for giving up a friend.

When it comes to people, I get past the physical appearance, I don't care how much money they have, what they do (so long as it isn't harming anyone or themselves), what they drive, what they wear, etc. If I want to hang out with someone and get to know them better, it's because there's something about them that's interesting to me, that gives them value to me as a person that I'd care to have in my life in any capacity. I don't have to be friends with EVERYBODY, but the people I like, I REALLY like. They matter, not their THINGS and surroundings.

Am I wrong? Who knows. But I'm not about to start judging people to see what it's like to operate on that level.

blech

2006-05-27T13:34:00.000-07:00

Wow, yesterday was bad. Comically bad. Hormonally bad, and also rife with bad timing.

The good part? It's OVER! Hoofuckingray!

ps. Guys are extremely weird, I'm learning. I guess it makes life more interesting! :)

reliving...

2006-05-13T03:22:00.000-07:00

...my laaaate teens/early twenties tonight.

My bottom lip hurts. :D Now I remember why it's better to go out with the girls sometimes.

mypaciousness

2006-05-09T00:44:00.000-07:00

I've now included a shiny new link to my silly myspace page, where I like my current song so much that I may never change it again! My blog there is almost entirely haiku, technically, and why you ask? Because I'm wanky like that.

(Just in case I do change my music, right now it's Evidence by Faith No More. Grand tune.)

haha.

2006-05-03T23:32:00.000-07:00

This is rapidly degenerating into the WORST BLOG OF ALL TIME™. I should be ashamed of myself.

Ok, so last week I FINALLY made it in to see my (insanely babeish and very witty) doctor, who gave me crap for waiting so long ("Three weeks you wait to come and see me when you're sick?" "YOU WERE ON VACATION, and I'm not about to see a different doctor!"). Minor crap. I think he just wanted to banter with me. But whatever...yeah, he confirmed that I am (or was) rather ill indeed, said that I have no energy because I'm fighting something off (I thought I was just being a wimp), and that I had all the symptoms of a SINUS INFECTION. Gloryoski...I thought it was a cold that I was just doing a shite job of getting rid of. Boy do I feel better. Sort of.

I had a bunch of readings today, and afterwards felt so spaced out that I actually lost my sense of time entirely (which COULD be cool), and haven't felt right ever since. Clearly, I'm doing something wrong, but being correct and getting paid is just so RIGHT. Hahaha. Plus, the two that really did it were my two very favourite clients, so it was worth it. I think I just need a quieter spot in which to do it.

Sorry Jen, but America's Next Top Model is incredibly satisfying viewing in spite of myself. And tonight's episode was GREAT. TWO weeks in a row saw my predictions come true, and my current least favourite next to Jade girl get voted off. I said in the beginning that Jade would be in the top 4...I was right. Note to Furonda: EAT A DAMN SANDWICH. Nothing can beat Elyse's rantings in Season One though.

Happy 420...

2006-04-20T20:50:00.000-07:00

...stoners!

Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

cough wheeze

2006-04-19T18:37:00.000-07:00

Yay, I'm sick. AGAIN. This is getting old. This sore throat, sticky eyes, weakness, shivers, coughing, sniffling thing? You can fucking have it.

Now, why this seems to happen as I greatly increase my vegetable intake and greatly reduce my sugar intake is beyond me. It's like I'm being punished for trying to eat properly...wtf.

On a positive note, I've snapped out of the unbelieveable, guy-related funk I was in. It took a forced confrontation, but boy am I done now. Done like dinner, and with no bullshit tolerance left, which is kind of a good thing. Am I bitter? Shockingly not! In fact, I feel pretty good. Someone else can worry instead of me. Apologies to anyone I've not been keeping in touch with. I can only complain so much and didn't really want to heap it on the masses anymore than I already had.

Now, if I can just ditch this sore throat bullshit, and maybe get a new job, I'll be grrrrrreat!

Here's me smirking. See? Doing better. haha!

No, I don't know what's up with my hair, though I suspect the frizz fairy paid me yet another visit.

fragrant!

2006-04-11T00:09:00.000-07:00

Take the quiz:
What do you smell like?

You Smell Like Vanilla
you smell like cookies. you probably take three or four showers a day and chances are that you shop at victoria's secret and get the vanilla perfume. it''s okay...i do too.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

ok, so...

2006-03-30T02:08:00.000-08:00

...it has come to my attention that I'm sounding worryingly morose lately. Yeah, I'm confused and hurt, yeah, I should keep quiet about it but can't, and yeah, I've been a happier person. But I'm fairly sure I don't need an intervention.

The good part of it? This can't last. *crosses fingers, knocks wood*

Catch me in person, I'm much less gloomy than I make myself seem on here as of late. See? Here I am with my good buddy Cory, happy as a fackin' clam.

Ok, I'm actually smiling because my undies were going up my ass. But whatever. It's not entirely horrible. I can still get a damn good coffee pretty well every day, and listen to whatever I want on my ipod.

somethings, some things

2006-03-16T10:50:00.000-08:00

1. The One, per se, does not exist for me. I've known this since I was little. Hence, I need to just take pleasure where I can find it and in little, non-harmful things. And distract myself a lot.

2. Related to the above...most guys suck. Women are evil, yes. But men are just as bad, they just operate on a different frequency.

3. There is no substance on earth as greasy as McDonalds' hash browns. Periodically, I just have to have one to remind myself of why I never eat there.

4. I'm an idiot when it comes to love, and everything I know about it seems to be wrong.

and now for an interesting list indeed: The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
.
9. Do not harm little children.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

by Anton Szandor LaVey ©1967

addendum:

2006-03-06T15:29:00.000-08:00

PMS is a horrible bitch.

I know...so quiet

2006-03-06T02:15:00.000-08:00

So I haven't been updating, which is partly the theme of almost every entry I do here as of late, sorry. I can't bring myself to completely bitch about what's eating me, because I can't define it.

So rather than go off about how my life is totally pointless and futile right now, and I can't understand the people who unfortunately matter the most to me, I'll just make the rest of you feel horrified and fucked up with this LOVELY photo of Gary Busey. *shudder*

nada surf

2006-02-27T20:02:00.000-08:00

We saw Nada Surf again on the weekend. They were awesome. I'll post the pics from the show later, because I'm a lazy, cranky biatch today and only feel like posting the silly ones I took of myself with the guys. HA! Matthew, Daniel, and Ira, respectively. Such nice guys. Such great music.

photeaux

2006-02-23T16:29:00.000-08:00

Here's one from my "cranky bitch" series:

and one from the "Big Dumb Smile" and "Autophotography With Tamara" series:

And say hello to Ben! SO FUCKING IN LOVE. He's not mine, but I loooove him.

Word association test

2006-02-19T23:37:00.000-08:00

Pffft...no surprises here.

I have issues with...

domination
work
gender
history
food

Take Word Association Test

bubble wrap

2006-02-09T09:11:00.000-08:00

I woke up in a grumpy mood today. Got to work, and some lovely soul brought in some stuff, wrapped in bubble wrap, the kind with tiny bubbles that you pretty well just need to rub between your fingers to get a veritable SYMPHONY of pops. Just what I needed. ahhh.

Shortly thereafter, a rather eccentric regular came in.

him: "Hello, you look happy today!"
me: "Uh...thanks."
him: "You do...are you in LOVE?"
me: "Say what??"
him: "You look happy, you must be in love."
me: "Dude...I've got BUBBLE WRAP." He looks at me blankly. So I hold it up, and pop some. "Bubble wrap!"

So apparently, it makes me look slack faced with bliss.

I'm such a weirdo.

masturbation

2006-02-04T18:49:00.000-08:00

Viva masturbation.

HAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, right.

Now then, I actually decided to BLOG about the first time I was introduced to the term (which I now find permanently funny).

My brother was talking to my mom about some guy whose last name was Bates. "You know...Master Bates" he said, and I was like "I don't get it." I was about 9 at the time, 10 at the most, so yeah, I wouldn't know.

And he goes "Master Bates, like masturbation."

"What's that?"

Doug and mom exchanged looks. And Doug gave the explanation.

"It's like one-man sex."

Suffice to say, I was COMPLETELY horrified. hahaha!

hello...!

2006-01-20T19:09:00.000-08:00

I've been ignoring/neglecting my blog as of late. I just feel like blogging my life these past few weeks would only hammer home how little of a life I really do have these days. Hahaha!

Anyway. I'll update regularly soon.

In the meantime, don't forget...I AM MATURE! *snicker*

2006, thus far

2006-01-16T23:18:00.000-08:00

2006...off to an interesting start? Possibly. Here's some of what I've done/seen so far:

1. watched my friend getting his ass handed to him by his 5 yr old daughter (with noooo help from me: "Hey, I think your dad wants a wedgie, what do you think? Yeah?") She is gonna be the girlfriend from HELL. Awesome kid.
2. danced on a public street
3. watched a guy get whipped, then his ass get paddled. It was oddly fascinating.
4. laughed almost to the point of passing out
5. got offered two separate, badly-timed booty calls (which I ended up not taking, thanks in no small part to the timing)
6. saw girls walking around in full body paint, and all I could think was "WOW, are they brave."
7. took the worst picture of all time of my nephew Greg. He looks like a MONSTER.
8. had my feelings accidentally hurt more times than I care to reveal
9. had great lapses of judgement
10. got given a fairly wide array of condoms. yeah, thanks. at the rate I'm going, they'll never get used.
11. watched my friend Dilip pass out on a barstool and NOT fall over
12. been hugged and kissed by strangers
13. been hit in the boob by accident
14. kissed a HOT GIRL! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha! (NO, Wendy, I'm NOT turning into a lesbian)
15. came up with the term "digestive seppuku" to my OWN great amusement.

It was a struggle to come up with 15. Ah well.

anyone want some condoms?

YAY NEW RING!

2006-01-05T23:58:00.000-08:00

I saw this ring in Serendipity's Backyard, and had to have it, only to realize that not only did I not have my bank cards on me, but I didn't have any cash either. I was going to go back the next day with some $$$ and either buy it outright or put it on layaway, and the thought of someone else buying it before I got back made me feel physically ill.

Anyhoo, Lalani decided that I couldn't leave the store without the ring, and got it for me, in exchange for some readings. I've said it before, and I'll say it again...she rules! :)

Taboo The Naughty But Nice Sex Show is coming (har har har har) next week, I'm THERE. Hopefully, I'll get some entertaining pics this year.

Resolutions, revisited

2006-01-02T19:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, here's my list of resolutions from last year. Time to check my progress. *snicker*

1. Keep a blog, updating daily.
Done, pretty much, even though most of the entries were complete shit.

2. Take at least ONE led yoga class this year (this one I 100% intend to keep, so I'm starting small, lol)
Oops. Didn't do this!!! hahaha! And a slap on the wrist for using LOL.

3. Get my at-home yoga practice back up to snuff. - "snuff" in this case adds up to 30-90 minutes at least 4x/week. A class is 90 min at least if I go to my usual place, and if I take my favourite teacher's last class of the night that's 2 hours, easy. When I took teacher training, that was about 10-15 hours of yoga per week.
Yeah, didn't get back into this habit either.

4. Do pilates regularly for TWO MONTHS. HAHAHA, yeah, I'm sure I'll do that. ;) Well, I guess it just depends on what I decide regularly is.
I DID this, but again fell out of the habit. Shame on me.

5. Go one day per week with NO sugar at all. This I'm sure I can do. Plus, it's a good idea to give the pancreas a break once in awhile.
I went for a few months with no sugar. I'm sure if I broke it down, it would count as one day per week w/o sugar, in fact, more than that even.

6. Stop going to bed with makeup on. - Since getting some REALLY FUCKING AWESOME SKINCARE PRODUCTS, I've been keeping this one, no problem.
I was good about this until pretty recently. Old habits, you know.

7. Drink more water. This should help headaches, and apparently also helps your spine hold an adjustment.
Did it. But I need to re-resolve this one for this year, as I've been bad for about a month or two with the water. I don't know why.

8. Write one poem per week, no matter how shitty and retarded it is (and it likely will be) - Initially, I said two. But I changed my mind. haha!
Yeah, not so much. But I did write a couple of good ones.

9. Get better shoes and start running again. don't injure self this time - It took me almost all of last year to heal an EXCRUCIATING tendon problem brought about by SHITTY SHOES. I think it was also partly my body rebelling against the job I had, but still...
Man, I whine a lot. No, this didn't happen either, form won over function, and I proved that I can walk in 4-inch heels. Take THAT, knees!

10. Be better about taking my friggin vitamins - I'm already faltering on this one. Unless once per week is enough for most vitamins, of course.
My experience with the herbalist has fixed this. Thank you Beth, you rule supremely. :)

11. Possibly find another job - POSSIBLY makes this not a resolution, but extra income would be cool.
Technically, this happened at the end of the year. Two more temp jobs. Yay. I also started charging for readings.

12. Throw out A LOT of old clothes - Done. But I should cull it down a bit more.
Done again. Could still lose more.

13. Take more pictures.
Done.

I didn't do as well with the ones I intended to do the best with. Typical!

2005

2005-12-31T19:16:00.000-08:00

Bye bye, 2005, may 2006 kick your sorry ass.

10 things I did/learned:

1. Went to a lot of fanfuckingtastic concerts.
lesson: continue this trend

2. Managed to get over myself a little bit.
lesson: this needs more work

3. Hooked up a couple of times with someone almost 10 years younger than me, hahaha!
lesson: making out is the funnest, and age bothers me less than I'd realized.

4. Started charging for tarot readings.
lesson: value your skills more.

5. Made friends and e-friends with some really great people that I now love.
lesson: keep this up as well

6. Pretty well kept up ye olde blog. Even though at least half the entries were shite.
lesson: make next year's entries more interesting, because this one was mehhh

7. Went back on a promise I made to myself regarding out of towners.
lesson: pending

8. Got my panic attacks under better control.
lesson: breathing good, tension bad

9. Realized that my patience is shorter than it used to be, that is to say my patience with people and bullshit is, yet my ability to cheerfully wait for awesome things to happen has increased severalfold.
lesson: tolerance is overrated. ;) I kid...I should learn to be more tolerant.

10. Started a short story after going way too long without writing anything but silly haikus, and think this short story will end up too long, if I ever pick it back up.
lesson: finish what you start.

That's it in a nutshell. Happy new year, guys and gals.

2005-12-30T19:13:00.000-08:00

I hate Dave Matthews. Just sayin'.

Poor cameraphobic...

2005-12-29T23:01:00.000-08:00

...little Spot. He was NOT happy that I made him sit for a pic, and was pissed off at me for the rest of the night, despite my peace offerings of cheesies. HAHAHAHA!

Well, actually, he would have been ok for one, but we took 2.

dec 28

2005-12-28T23:28:00.000-08:00

It was a fucking brilliant, beautiful day today. Nothing makes you feel better than one sunny day in the midst of a depressing grey streak. I went for a long walk with Lorna and her new fiance, and it was dog heaven, you couldn't walk 20 feet without encountering a friendly dog to greet you. Then we got Indian candy, which I forgot RULES. Mmm.

Sandy and Dougie came over for dinner too, which was good.

Overall...a rather nice day!

HA! hahaha.

2005-12-27T23:26:00.000-08:00

feck.

2005-12-26T23:27:00.000-08:00

Where in the FUCK has my resilience gone?

I recently have been feeling somewhat ignored by someone that somehow snuck under my wall and made me open up, and I CANNOT TAKE IT! I can't deal with being vulnerable, it's completely terrifying to me. Nothing like this bothered me before, I'd be like "Ok, you're having YOU time, that's fine" or in other cases "You don't wanna talk? Well, fuck you". Which I guess speaks more to the fact that I'm not very open about my feelings than me wimping out in this particular case, but I'm absolutely stressed and feel completely jangled about the whole thing.

I'm scared. Really, really, scared. And I know I can't ask for reassurance. I'm second guessing everything and wonder if I misread it all.

And I also acknowledge that I really, truly could be making a huge deal over nothing, but when forced to come to my own conclusions in a situation that I haven't been made to feel completely safe in, I jump to the ones that make me feel sick to my stomach (and I do).

Sometimes, I really hate life. Sooo much.

Merry ho-ho!

2005-12-25T23:59:00.000-08:00

Christmas was lovely. From the huge brunch with Lalani to dinner with the fam, it all went well. I liked all my presents. I also ate WAY too much!

Hope yours was great. :)

Social day

2005-12-24T23:24:00.000-08:00

Happy xmas eve, folks!

Today I hauled myself out of bed, preparing for traffic en route to the Naam, where I met up with Sophie and Jeremy for breakfast. I got there rather early...oops! It ended up being an awesome breakfast, with really great company, good conversation...and a waitress who was such a cunt that I think I'm gonna call and complain. But everything else made up for it. And I didn't tip her cunty ass.

Next, I headed over to Tamara's place to give her some more marshmallows and stuff, and to shoot the shit. She gave me her xmas compilation cd: Tamdemonium. And in an awesome twist, a song I'd only heard once and never found out the name of but had been obsessing over is on it. KICK FRICKING ASS.

Then, back to the store, where I had a nice visit with Tito, then out for hot chocolate with Lalani. I missed seeing Lorna, but I'm sure I'll see her next week.

THEN, off to Lee's for another little open house-type deal, where I ate so much that I want to puke now. It was fun, but I kept falling asleep trying to watch A Christmas Story with Jamie.

I never DID finish my xmas shopping, but too fricking bad. It's all over but the mess and the crying. And the wrapping, goddammit...off to do that now.

Happy ho-ho. :)

SOUND ADVICE

2005-12-23T23:54:00.000-08:00

Yeah, boyeee.

well

2005-12-22T23:56:00.000-08:00

I have a sick feeling about things. It's very worrying. I hope I'm wrong.

2005-12-21T11:07:00.000-08:00

Click the pic.

I have NO idea what that is on the left. There is NOTHING anywhere NEAR where I took this pic that was cloth like or filmy. *spooky noises*

My niece

2005-12-20T22:23:00.000-08:00

This is my niece Chloe, Wendy's daughter. Isn't she gorgeous? She looks so much like me!

Because I haven't done one in awhile...

2005-12-19T22:08:00.000-08:00

...NAME THAT TUNE!

the green and the bluest
ocean below us
there it is
the healing is over
and we have discovered
where we stand

we paddle through the waves
confusion rest in our wake
we paddle through the waves
all solutions find their way

That's a good chunk o'lyrics...good luck.

Sunday @ a different work

2005-12-18T23:08:00.000-08:00

Today, I went with Sandy to work at the wine store which has a cute sign, turn your head for the full effect (fuck you, photoshop program error), and on the right, the WORST BREAKFAST EVER:

I took some pics all over the store, and look what popped into one...a little orb friend?:

Some pre-lunch wine...we worked *really* hard. Tee hee!

Peek-a-boo...

It was fricking cold in there, hence the scarf STAYED. 5 layers I wore, FIVE, and I was still chilly. Yeesh. I also should have taken a pic of the RELIC computer we had to work on today. The keyboard weighed about 20 lbs, fachrissakes. And I had no idea that it was pretty common for people to buy like 10 bottles of wine at a time. I'm not enough of a drinker, apparently. Guess I should work on that.

chaqueta

2005-12-17T23:05:00.000-08:00

This was the worst jacket ever. Please note the look of amused disgust on Dilip's face.

Hilarity

2005-12-16T10:06:00.000-08:00

Behold...the masturbating cat!

Thank the effin' baby J...

2005-12-15T23:30:00.000-08:00

...I finished almost all my xmas shopping. Sandy dragged my headachey ass all over Vancouver, and I made sure she didn't dawdle. I shop like a guy, it's high time she learned how to also. Everything else I need to get can be bought in one place, and that one place doesn't even have to be the mall. I feel ELATED.

Now to finish the last little dregs, and the baking, and I'll be good to go. BOO YAH.

DUCKS...

2005-12-14T23:30:00.000-08:00

...and seagulls.

tis the season

2005-12-14T12:11:00.000-08:00

...for Salvation Army.

I regularly grab groceries at the shop by my work. I have no problem donating change to charity when I have the change, but lately I don't.

This is where the salvation army woman comes in.

She recognizes me now. I walk in, she says "hello" with one of those narrow-eyed smiles, one of the ones that say "I can hear the coins in your pocket, you biatch." I say hi back, feeling more guilty every time I go by her.

The last time I left, I actually squirmed, and said "Haha, I'll get you next time!" This shouldn't be such a big deal, and she's not the only collector in town. My conscience abuses me. And so do judgemental faced S.A. collectors.

I'm also neck-deep in misery today. I would be a much happier person if I weren't so fucking observant, and that's all I'm going to say about that. If you can spare some good vibes, send them my way, please. :)

Why...

2005-12-13T23:43:00.000-08:00

...do I even bother trusting people anymore? I'm fucking done.

another pic

2005-12-12T21:38:00.000-08:00

I do NOT understand WHY people do this. If it has some sort of significance or meaning, feel free to explain it to me. Thanks!

le sunday de resistance

2005-12-11T23:24:00.000-08:00

Today started out rather foggy.

Far less foggy in touristy, purty Steveston though. Any artful birdflight is completely coincidental:

My new keychain. If there's a GAWD, one day this place will give away promotional undies, and I will be first in line for a pair:

Read my palm, ok?

Hmm

2005-12-10T23:57:00.000-08:00

I don't feel like myself today. I have lost battles of wits with people who don't have a good grasp of the English language. I have thought of proper comebacks and my usual reactions about 30 seconds too late. How VERY annoying.

Greg's Gig the Second

2005-12-09T23:33:00.000-08:00

At The Buffalo Club (or as Brian calls it, The Bucking Fuffalo Club). Please note the braglasses on the buffalo:

Greg and Cam rawkin' out with Nikki Hurst:

I made better friends with my broken thumbnail when I got home.

The band, by the way, was great!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

2005-12-08T23:19:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to my beautiful beloved sister Wendy! She is my Balderdash soulmate, my accidental partner in dietary crime, the only other sibling I share height with, and my onetime co-harasser of Dave Grohl (ok, I did the yelling, she sat next to me and did nothing to stop me). I would be NOWHERE near as funny a person if it weren't for her. ;) She also has a cooler outlook on life than almost anyone else I've come across. I'm so glad she's mah sister. She rules and I love her.

Altogether now...AWWWWWW! ;)

a musing

2005-12-07T23:19:00.000-08:00

I'm beginning to wonder if my suspicious nature is causing me problems or helping me avoid them.

Pre-Morcheeba

2005-12-06T23:46:00.000-08:00

My friend Jeremy is a tattoo artist, and damn talented. We all arrived to the Commodore so early that he had time to give Erica (Reuben's girlfriend) and I "tattoos" with a ball point pen. Just freehand. I wish I were so talented.

Mine:

Erica's:

Here's me and Reuben waiting for the band to start. Not very patiently either.

Erica paid Jeremy back with a tattoo of his own...a cinnamon toast chakra, with waves and pieces of majesty coming off it, haha:

At the Naam, there was wet paint on the window. The wet paint signs were hilarious.

Good times, good folks. Excellent band. Fantastic night.

Morcheeba

2005-12-05T11:59:00.000-08:00

This show way, WAY surpassed my expectations. Their touring singer is fucking incredible. They played my two absolute favourite songs of theirs one right after the other during the encore (The Sea and Trigger Hippie), and my throat is sore from singing and yelling.

She was seriously one of the best frontpeople I've ever seen, ever. And we all know I go to a LOT of concerts. Thank you a million times over, Morcheeba, for being better than I possibly could have hoped.

Funny side note...it was so full of pot smoke in there, that it was crazy. You can see it in the pic. There was no smoke machine. Ye gads.

Singletons vs. Nonsingletons

2005-12-04T22:26:00.000-08:00

Ok, that title was stupid.

The point of this entry is that people who HAVE significant others should NOT make that any sort of a secret when starting new friendships with folks of the opposite sex. No, I haven't been burned recently, but I think it's best to get that sort of shit out of the way toute de suite. Agree, disagree?

Also...can you legitimately refer to fuck friends as "friends"? I had a discussion today with a friend who INSISTS, vehemently, that you absolutely cannot, it's improper, you're lovers not friends. I figure the term "friend" is a tad more nebulous and less cut-and-dry than that. What do YOU think?

Unrelated topic time: Death From Above 1979 ROCKS. I have just fallen under their spell. Mmmm mmm good.

Greg rawkin' the casbah, aka Brickyard...

2005-12-03T22:47:00.000-08:00

...with his new band/singer, Nikki Hurst:

FINALLY...The Hank Pic™

2005-12-02T16:36:00.000-08:00

I think I'm all caught up now! Please scroll down to see my other entries, pics, etc. Ok, the new entries are all pics. Check 'em out.

Now...me, 4 layers of clothing, my cheeks, and Hank:

That's as close to smiling as he gets in pics, I'm told! Hahaha! He was extremely cool.

Home improvements?

2005-12-02T16:35:00.000-08:00

Jamie wanted to help paint.

In her undies, mind you. She's so cute.

2 random pix

2005-12-02T16:31:00.000-08:00

Pic The First: Two dudes asleep at Blenz Coffee at about 2 am. Asleep in a COFFEE SHOP...it just was too odd to not photograph.

Pic The Second: The view from Brian's maxillofacial surgeon's office. I took him to get his wisdom teeth yanked. And had a nice view. Except for the crappy weather.

Dougie's Band Rawks Mesa Luna

2005-12-02T16:27:00.000-08:00

My nephew's band played a short set at a battle of the bands. He's the bassist. I'm so proud!

The Buttless Wonder

2005-12-02T16:23:00.000-08:00

Buddy from the opening band for The Dandy Warhols had NO ASS WHATSOEVER. Had to photograph it.

The singer was sporting some tremendous floodpants. HA! Man, I'm such a biatch.

Duh...and Dandy Warhols

2005-12-02T16:18:00.000-08:00

You CAN adjust the date time things. Well I'll be damned. That's what I get for like, not trying.

Pic time. Dandy Warhols @ The Commodore. What a great show.

I love Zia!

Courtney Taylor-Taylor:

Open Letter to my ISP

2005-12-01T12:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Telus,

I would like to meet the genius in your service department who heard me say "I'd like to cancel my account and username" when I really said "I am having connection issues and would like it to be fixed as soon as possible", so I can figure out if my pronunciation is at fault, or if their grasp on English is completely weak. I mean, had I said "I don't want to cancel my account or username, thanks", I could perhaps understand that he may NOT have heard the word "don't", but this was not the case.

I'd like to propose that you give up your practice of hiring complete idiots. For the SAME RATE OF PAY, you could hire people who REALLY DO understand what your customers are saying. Wouldn't that be nice?

Thanks for the free month and lower rate as a result of my having to YELL (with laryngitis, thanks a hell of a lot) repeatedly at various members of your company so that the mistake could be fixed.

Apparently I'll be back online on friday. If this isn't the case, you will get yet another earful from me.

Thanks for the worse sore throat, you bastards.
Vicki

Oh great.

2005-11-29T12:48:00.000-08:00

So I see I can't adjust the date/time on this thing anymore, so my rapid succession postings will be clearly labelled as LAZY. So I have 4 entries to make up. Which I shall do. With individual pictures. Once my fucking internet is back up.

FUCK YOU, TELUS.

Happy Yanksgiving!

2005-11-24T15:08:00.000-08:00

Happy pilgrim day, folks. I'm at Sandy's house in Pt. Roberts, WA, struggling with her stupid split keyboard, which reminds me how fucked up my typing is. Weee!

It's been all about the grocery shopping (natch) so far today, and hanging with Kona. That chain looking thing is a leg (foot?) from Dougie's drum set chair.

Shopping, dogs, and taking stupid pics of myself. Hah!

Woo!

2005-11-23T15:38:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Jen for the fantaaastic two-cd set! I will be listening to them soooon. I liked the addition of The New Pornographers. Excellent choices. I will respond in kind as soon as I can get my goddamn cd burner up and running!

My aunt Irene was here to help out my cousin after he got his wisdom teeth yanked. She goes home today, which is by my math approx. 2 days too soon. Tomorrow is yank thanksgiving, so Sandy is having a big dinner. I plan to eat a lot of salad this coming weekend.

tuuuuesday

2005-11-22T14:10:00.000-08:00

Tuesday was good. I didn't work very hard, hah. Took an extended break to drink hot chocolate and walk around aimlessly, looking at galleries, and shooting the shit with my friend Tito. Bad for business, good for stress levels.

Random rant: I'm SICK and fucking TIRED of unanswered emails and myspace messages! Quit being cunts, you cunts.

sunday comes and sunday goes

2005-11-21T01:20:00.000-08:00

Sunday was kind of nice. Jamie slept over at our place, which meant I didn't get to sleep in the way I needed, but that was ok. Went to the store, then took her out for a walk in the stupid fucking fog to see the boats, ducks and seagulls, and we got hot chocolate. Then I got us each a grab bag of assorted crystals. She made up songs at the top of her lungs and laughed her head off most of the time. It was fun!

Tomorrow (today, what-ever), I have to make mexican food for the masses. I don't know why I let myself agree to these things!

Last night

2005-11-20T14:19:00.000-08:00

Two nephew shows in one day. I saw Greg play with his new band, Nikki Hurst, and he did awesome. I didn't like how the sound was mixed, but they were good! I ended up meeting a couple of people from my myspace page, which was much cooler than I'd thought. Also ran into Crispin and Garth, neither of whom I'd seen in way too long. Good times.

Again, pics to follow. I'm getting really bad with this!

Pics to follow later again

2005-11-19T21:18:00.000-08:00

I saw Dougie's band play @ Mesa Luna today. They were awesome. I took pics, but they'll have to wait, unfortunately, thanks to my unfortunate computer situation. Damn mercury retrograde.

While one of the other bands was on, Shawn and I went and defaced the salsa dancing lessons ads in the ladies' washroom. And took pics. Because we're super mature like that. I set such a good example for my nieces and nephews. Hahaha!

bleh

2005-11-18T14:02:00.000-08:00

I'd just like to reiterate my previous assertion that Blenz makes the best hot chocolate ever.

ya know...

2005-11-17T12:13:00.000-08:00

...it's amazing what a sunny day can do for your mood. Too bad it's cold as a witch's tit.

I'm going to figure out mobile blogging. Hang on to your hat. *snicker*

Now here's a random pic from this public computer's photo files. I can barely wait to see what I pull out:

Sailor Jupiter, ladies and gentlemen.

Dandy Warhols

2005-11-16T17:52:00.000-08:00

They played a most EXCELLENT set last night @ the Commodore. I got the setlist, I'd post it but it's at home and I am not.

Zia is adorable, I have the biggest straight girl crush on her now.

FUCK

2005-11-15T17:51:00.000-08:00

My computer is effed again, hopefully only until next week. I should set up mobile blogging.

I blame this damned mercury retrograde.

I heart Hank

2005-11-14T11:33:00.000-08:00

Tonight I had my long-overdue first exposure to the spoken word of Henry Rollins. Holy crap. Three hours FLEW by, it felt like maybe an hour to me. Yay not having a watch! He was VERY funny, and VERY intense, and VERY entertaining. Tamara and I met him after the show, and he was extremely cool, and we got pics with him and everything. Pics which I may post later. hahaha. It was colder than a witch's teat tonight, just a side note.

He did a bit on how EVERYONE is hot. No matter who you are, someone will look at you and go "Ohhhhhhhh" at least once per day. I thought that was rad. I don't agree with it at this point, but fucked if it didn't make EXCELLENT sense at the time.

All in all, highly recommended. He is a seriously cool person.

Also ran into Jenn, which was cool! Oddly, I KNEW I'd see her in line, and had my eyes open to find her more than my friend I was meeting (who ended up spotting me as I blundered past). Good times. Too damn cold though.

BAH...I knew it

2005-11-14T10:19:00.000-08:00

You Are 17 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Oh noes!

2005-11-13T22:39:00.000-08:00

Heh.

2005-11-12T19:36:00.000-08:00

any given blog entry

2005-11-11T23:23:00.000-08:00

*insert line of semi-to-fully self-indulgent bullshit here*

This doll is singing an aria. Probably Habanera from Carmen. Possibly Ave Maria. Seriously.

I think I posted this before...

2005-11-10T20:18:00.000-08:00

...but here it is again, because I think it's funny.

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to
its yearly contest, in which readers are asked To supply alternate meanings
for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that, when you die, your Soul flies
up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish
men.

cartooned by j.d.

2005-11-09T23:24:00.000-08:00

Today was

2005-11-08T22:41:00.000-08:00

A waste because I barely slept last night (seriously, less than 3 hours) and I can't htnk straight.

Hence, this blog entry will be a waste to match my day.

Whoa

2005-11-08T05:26:00.000-08:00

Ok, the fact that tonight is over is almost depressing, because I literally have no idea how it can be topped.

Tamara and I got a private show from an incredible hip hop artist, in her bedroom as it turned out (NO FUNNY STUFF, hahah!). We sat on the bed, he did his thing, and he is one of the coolest people I've ever met. And his voice just kills me. It's amazing.

We drank coffee with caffeine at 4 am, I'm so fucking wired that I'm actually scared of what sort of day tomorrow will be, what with the sleep I won't get.

That's alls I've got for now. I'm too blown away.

tomorrow...

2005-11-06T11:32:00.000-08:00

...will kick much ass and be a most unusual evening indeed. That is all the information I'm able to divulge at this time. Mainly because I don't want to jinx the extreme cool that's on the way.

Outside of the asskickery, my tonsils are looking almost a little blistery now, which gives me a totally legitimate excuse to shoot the shit with my favourite doctor on earth. I may or may not go though, if it's better tomorrow. I tried to take a nap today and I kept getting woken up by throat pain. Good times.

Friday, store decoration with Lalani, which will make for a guaranteed fun day at work. Things are looking up. *cautiously optimistic*

saaaturday

2005-11-05T22:42:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so the flu I thought I was getting earlier did go away, or so I thought, the next day. It decided to just hang out and wait until the conditions were just right (ie. to keep me from having some super dooper ultra fun) to kick me directly in the throat. Faaaaack you, immune system.

Today, in spite of the swimming head and fish hook lined throat, was mostly fun. Ran downtown with Sandy to pick up Shawn's birthday cake from Cupcakes, where they make fucking fantastic cupcakes (natch), stopping en route to visit Tamara and grab the first gingerbread latte of the year. The day was run on sugar. No wonder I feel so gross. But it was fun. And those damn lattes are the end of me for the year. Bye bye pants that fit. ;)

Why is it...

2005-11-04T23:47:00.000-08:00

...that people with vices seem so much happier than us puritanical suckers? That's that...I'm getting a vice. Like, tomorrow. Chocolate isn't cutting it anymore. *snicker*

We went to Spike and Mike's tonight, jebus fargin H did I laugh. The new Lone Sausage Productions, erm, production, was extremely weird, but very funny.

I was debating calling a friend over (HAhahaha), but I'm too damn tired. I'm getting old and boring. Oh yeah, and I didn't give myself time to shave my legs tonight. Boooo.

FUCKITY FUCK

2005-11-03T23:40:00.000-08:00

I had a full-on entry done last night. Hit enter and what do I get? A 404 error. Fuck you, blogger.

Here's another chop. Enjoy it. I did. :D

I am a sick person.

2005-11-01T23:20:00.000-08:00

I caught the flu, replete with aches, sore throat, coughing, etc. Oh goody. I hope to be better by TOMORROW. Pain under the shoulderblade is bad, right?

So to stem the tide of my complaints, here's a nice, subtle chop. Enjoy.

pumpkin #2

2005-11-01T02:23:00.000-08:00

This one let my flesh live. I couldn't get the halo in this pic though. It's the angel Betty Boop.

pumpkin #1

2005-10-31T23:39:00.000-08:00

Also known as the Pumpkin of Death, thanks to me slicing my hand, big time, during its construction:

5 entries behind!

2005-10-31T00:39:00.000-08:00

Ack.

I have just not been in the mood to update my blog. I also have been really slack about answering emails. In fact, if you've emailed me lately and I haven't responded, my apologies. I'm a lousy communicator.

On the plus side, I'm learning how to play Texas Hold'em and not lose my fucking shirt. Ok, my e-shirt.

Wait, that's not a plus side!!!!!

Anyhow. I plan to keep up the updating now, even if it's just with utter shite (like that's stopped me before), and will sneak in extra entries, rather than backdating as I've anally done in the past.

What a stupid entry! I should be ashamed of myself! Ha!

Anyhow, happy halloween, y'all! Eat lots of candy. Above, obviously, is this year's painstakingly applied makeup.

Whaddya know

2005-10-25T14:22:00.000-07:00

The device pictured below is actually a TRICORDER, as pointed out to me by a kindly nerd. ;)

Apologies to Sandy also for posting such an unflattering photo. She's extremely cute, yanno, what with her being my sister and such. ;)

pic III

2005-10-24T23:46:00.000-07:00

This was the coolest damn thing ever. A friend of Richard's ordered it, paid insane cash for it, and pics don't do it justice. It's a communicator from star trek or something.

I wanted to keep it. haha!

Tilt your head.

Here's Lorna and Sandy modelling it.

pic II

2005-10-23T23:28:00.000-07:00

Richard and Sandy

pic.

2005-10-22T11:18:00.000-07:00

Lee & the thanksgiving turkey.

Yup

2005-10-21T01:10:00.000-07:00

I'm lazy.

Really lazy.

Really lazy when it comes to updating these days.

Nada Surf

2005-10-20T23:31:00.000-07:00

I just hate using the flash sometimes, so these are as good as it gets until I get over my latest fit of demotivation. ;) Prior to the show, Tamara and I were goofing around with the lead singer, who we didn't recognize at the time. I put two and two together before they hit the stage though. me = smrt

Now the beer thing.

It was my night to get drenched. First, Dilip spilled his beer all over where I was leaning, so my arms and purse got it pretty badly. Then, at the end of the set, the bassist (the aforementioned Daniel Lorca) dropped his bass, his bass hit his beer, and his beer splashed right into my face. Hahaha! Once I realized my eyes were ok, I started laughing. He didn't find it a bit funny, and apologized profusely, and hugged me and kissed me on the cheeks. Then we ran into him before we left, and he hugged and kissed me again, and I was like "Seriously, it was an accident, and FUNNY!" He was extremely sweet and gave me a setlist, and wanted to give me some bass strings, but didn't have extras.

I wanted to get a picture of the drummer's t-shirt (it said MORE COWBELL on it), but couldn't find him once we were done talking to the other guys, and security was dying to get off work. Ah well.

Musically, the show was just beautiful. I really enjoyed it.

delays.

2005-10-19T23:59:00.000-07:00

I saw a play that depressed the hell out of me tonight. And I have pictures to edit. So ferget the blog for tonight!!!!

Keeping with the whole "laziness" theme...

2005-10-18T23:56:00.000-07:00

...I will tell post about how I came to be kissed on the cheeks repeatedly by one Daniel Lorca of Nada Surf tomorrow. I will say that it involed beer and my eye and leave it at that for now.

It's actually 2:56 am on oct 19, not 11:56 pm on oc 18. This is how anal retentive I am about ridiculous shit.

feck

2005-10-17T23:24:00.000-07:00

The headache still clings, goddammit. Though now it feels like a tension headache or perhaps a migraine. I'm not liking it one bit. It doesn't make for good bloggin'.

So here's yet another chop. Haha!

le pain

2005-10-16T23:09:00.000-07:00

I have this weird pain in my face/head. It's on my cheekbone, but the area just under the temple. What in the holy effing H is that all about? Ever get that? My tired google search is weak.

You know...

2005-10-15T22:57:00.000-07:00

...life is strange. The most bizarre things happen. And sometimes, terrible-seeming blocks come up that retrospectively save you from potentially dangerous/awful situations.

It's also interesting how you can totally see that when it's a friend who's just dodged a bullet, but when it happens to you, all you see is the block to what you thought you wanted.

A good friend dodged a serious bullet. I'm so relieved, but feel awful for her, as this is a "must go through the stages of mourning" situation, and that's never fun. And no, I can't go into the details of what went on, but suffice to say it was pretty intense, and rather heavy-duty.

To distract her, myself, Lalani, and my mom took her out for dinner and martinis. It was a good time, and got my mind off the idiotic bullshit that's been filling my thoughts as of late. Plus, the martini I had tasted like about 3 more. Mmmm mmm mmm.

I also am starting to FINALLY cook up an idea for a new short story. Wish me luck writing it. I need the pressure of a deadline to make myself write something and finish it. *shakes head*

AND...I got my hair cut today. I had a horrible headache, so I couldn't get it blown out straight, which sucks, but my hairdresser is awesome and gets migraines too, so she helped a lot. Anyhow...yeah, curly hair. It'll be straight outta frizztown tomorrow.

feh

2005-10-14T23:19:00.000-07:00

It sucks when things keep happening that reinforce negative beliefs about the opposite sex. And this week, on a sort-of-related note, has kicked my ass.

I'm going to bed.